25 Great Ways to Bond With Your Dog

8. Help your dog understand the world

You build a bond by being a center of safety for your dog. “Give dogs safe experiences that aren’t overwhelming, because if you give them the first experience of something and it’s scary, then the reverse happens — then that’s forever a thing,” Lord says. If possible, start when your dog is a puppy, exposing them carefully to new things during the  “primary critical period of socialization,” a four-week period starting at about 4 weeks of age, says Lord, who researches wolf and dog development and behavior. While dog puppies will naturally start to explore as soon as they can walk, by eight weeks they’ve developed a fear of strange things. (This period can be extended if your puppy is older when you bring it home.) But associating new things with something familiar — aka you — helps them overcome that fear. For example, if there’s a scary garbage can at the end of the driveway, a 10-week-old puppy might feel better about it if you touch it, because you are familiar, says Lord. She suggests prioritizing experiences that you most need your dog to be comfortable with, like riding in the car, being outside or coexisting with the cat.

9. Got a new dog? Try a tether

At Smoky Mountain Service Dogs in Lenoir City, Tennessee, trainers keep puppies close with 4- to 20-foot tethers clipped to their belts, the length depending on the activity. And tethering is a training method the American Kennel Club (AKC) supports as long as it is used in a way that is not harmful to the dog.

Tethering frees up the trainer’s hands to provide treats or signals and can work for dogs of any age, says Heather Wilkerson, the program manager and a cofounder of the organization. Good teamwork requires clear communication between the handler and the dog, says Wilkerson, whose organization trains certified service dogs for veterans, emergency responders and others. “So as you do tether training, you are starting to create routines, and you start to kind of merge together as one team,” she explains. “Your performance starts to become a little more fluid and reliable, and somewhat symbiotic.” 

It’s better to teach your dog how to walk inside before trying it outside.

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10. Try off-leash to improve on-leash

If you want a better synergy and bond while walking your dog, start in a controlled environment, Walsh advises. Pick a room or space where the door is closed and the dog can’t wander away from you. Take the leash off and just walk from A to B. When the dog just happens to come next to you, use a dog-training clicker or a word to mark the behavior, and treat the dog. Over time, the dog understands the game: that the payoff is being next to you. Then you can start walking anywhere you want in the room, and the dog will start to heel. 

“We see it translate into really nice leash manners,” Walsh says. “That’s my favorite one that I do with anybody that gets a dog, because nobody wants a dog that’s going to pull them down the street.” 

11. Teach your pup focus

Dogs training at Smoky Mountain Service Dogs must have a supertight bond with their future owners, so handlers work a lot on eye contact. “We want the focus to be on the handler, and when it’s offered, then we mark that verbally and follow with a piece of food reward,” says Wilkerson. Trainers use games and activities, including hand-feeding, to teach the idea that eye contact delivers food, she explains. 

12. Understand a dog is not a human 

“A lot of people anthropomorphize animals, which is just a big word for putting human emotions on animals,” says Walsh. “And I think everybody is guilty of it. Like, ‘Oh, my dog’s sad I’m leaving,’ or ‘They’re feeling jealous.’ And animals don’t necessarily always feel the same way that people do.” Humans aren’t as good at reading dogs as we think, according to a study conducted by Wynne and a researcher in his lab at Arizona State University and published earlier this year. His team showed people a video of a dog reacting to something they would expect to make the dog happy, such as a leash. People watching the video responded that they saw a happy dog. But researchers had edited the videos; the dog actually was reacting to something unpleasant, like the vacuum cleaner. The takeaway: Humans shouldn't assume they know exactly what is going on in their dog’s mind.

13. Know that language matters

The terminology we use for our dogs reflects how we view the relationship, says Schade. One of her bugaboos: the word “command.”  “It’s nails on a chalkboard for me, because they’re cues,” she says. “We’re not commanding, we’re cuing them. We’re saying, ‘Hey, could you do this for me?’”  She suggests we are “guardians” of our dogs. “They’re not our property, they’re our family,” she says.  Williams thinks of herself as a “benevolent leader.”  “You teach them, ‘All good things come through me, and that is why we’re going to have this partnership together.’”  

14. Another important tool: patience 

“Being patient with your dog helps them understand that you’re an ally, not a dictator,” says Schade. Patience during training helps to build a trusting bond, and signals to dogs that it’s OK if they’re not perfect. 

Dog training is a slow and sometimes tedious process. “You can have one step forward, two steps back. But this isn’t a computer we’re programming. This is a living being, and we have to respect the process of bringing about behavioral change,” Schade says.  For rescue dogs, going from a shelter into a house is a huge transition. “Just take it super slow, bring them home, show them one room, get them comfortable in that room, get them comfortable with one person at a time,” says Walsh. “Because dogs are just like people, they need their own time to determine how comfortable they are going to be in different situations.” 

To keep your dog engaged, change up their routine once in a while with a new walk route or a special treat.

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15. Add small surprises 

Dogs count on routine, but new activities and toys keep things interesting, says Schade. Try changing your walking route or buying a new kind of ball to fetch. A change in routine makes your dog pay attention. “That kind of stuff does make your dog say, ‘OK, this person is interesting, and I never know what they’re going to do next, and I’m really going to keep my focus on them,’ because that’s part of what the bond is — that focus,” says Schade.  

16. Go easy with kids

Dogs and children are at eye level, so take it slowly, Walsh says. Remind kids to “gentle pet.” Practice on stuffed animals. Ask children to sit when a dog first comes into a room so the dog can see the child before having a human right in their face, even if a child is old enough to give a dog a treat and a gentle pet.

“My biggest training tip for everything is to quit while you’re ahead,” says Walsh. “So I would do a 10-minute introduction session and then maybe give the dog some space away from the children, maybe putting them in a separate room or into a crate, and allowing that dog to have space.” 

You can help a child bond with a dog by involving them in feeding, training and games, says Burch. Older kids can join the AKC FIT program or see if their county 4-H program participates in the 4-H Dog Project, which teaches topics like breed identification, recordkeeping and showmanship.

17. Be consistent

Inconsistency can really confuse dogs, says Lord. “The more predictive an environment is for a dog, the clearer things are, the more comfortable they tend to be. And that really affects the purity of their bond with somebody.”

It’s good for dogs to depend on the routine of your day, Walsh says. “That way they know it, and they don’t have to get anxiety about the next time that they’re going to go out, or the next time that they’re going to get fed, because ... they’re used to it. And they’ll know that you’ll always come back and that you’ll always be there for their care. And the more consistent you can get, the more consistent they will get as well.”

18. Use your body language  

Movement is an important cue for dogs, especially young dogs, sporting dogs and active dogs like terriers, according to Williams. You build a training bond not only with your commands but with your whole body. “You can’t just stand still like a rock. You have to move your body, because dogs key more off of your movement than they do your voice,” she says. For example, if you want your dog to come, then move away. That draws them in.

“People stand there like a stop sign and then wonder why their dog is looking at them from 20 feet away. Well, the dog’s looking at you and going, ‘I can see you. I’m fine. I’m good.’ You start moving, and the dog’s like, ‘Whoa. Wait a minute. Where are you going?’”

19. Fight boredom

Keeping your dog’s life exciting and enriched keeps them happy and healthy, which leads you to want to spend more time with them — which leads to a better bond. “Anything that varies up or changes up their day in any way is so important,”  says Walsh. Your dog might be sitting in the same house every single day while you get to go out into the real world, so even dogs that don’t stare at the TV may enjoy the variety of sounds. Walsh hangs kites or suncatchers in her windows — “anything that’s different for them to look at and to do.” Leave them something safe to chew. If your dog struggles when you leave the house, have a special toy they get only when you leave. Or if your dog hates the crate, Walsh recommends offering them a Kong stuffed with frozen food or peanut butter to distract them. 

A fun activity for everyone: Teach your dog some tricks using items around the house.

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20. Teach some simple tricks

You can use household items to do basic tricks that help you bond with your dog, says Burch. For example, you can teach a dog to get in and out of a box using treats. “You have a box and you just say, ‘Get in,’ and use the food as a lure to get the dog in the box. He gets in and sits, and you give him the treat, and then you can teach get ‘out,’’ she says.  

Or, get a Hula-Hoop and teach “go through” by holding a treat on the other side. You can keep working your way up to advanced levels. Kids often do well at teaching tricks, Burch says: “They submit videos every year for the AKC’s annual virtual national trick dog contest, and they look just great. Some of these kids will be 6 and 7 years old, getting a dog to do great things.” 

21. Go with what your own dog likes

Many dogs work for treats. Others go nuts for tug toys. Williams uses scent as a reward activity, applying a liquid pheromone scent from a sporting goods store to a rag or glove to create a toy. Then there was the spatula-lover. “I had a client dog — didn’t like food, didn’t like toys, didn’t even know what a toy was. But then [the owner] told me, ‘I can’t keep him out of the dishwasher.’ She said that she had a specific red plastic spatula that he would carry around the house. I said, ‘Bring it next week.’”

22. Go for authenticity, not ‘likes’

Your dog never asked to be a social media star, so stop filming them in an inauthentic way just to get social media likes, Schade says. That means no teasing, like pretending you’re going for a walk just so you can film the dog getting excited. That’s not a way to build trust. Don’t scold a dog for getting in the garbage and then film it because the dog appears ashamed. It’s not shame but appeasement to the person who’s scolding them, says Schade: “Guilt is a social construct that has no meaning in a dog’s world.”

23. Pick joint activities wisely

This is a common problem that can jeopardize the bond with your dog, says Schade. The street fair might be fun for you. For your dog? Not so much. “You look at the dog and they’re miserable. It’s crowded, it’s hot, the sun is blazing down. You’re boring because you’re looking at crafty items, so you’re ignoring the dog,” she says. 

24. Frustrated? Find a better match

There are times when a dog and an owner are just a poor match, says Burch. First, exhaust all the resources in your household. Ask yourself, “Is there someone else who can take this on?”

Burch recounts: “I know somebody who had a Labrador retriever and said, ‘I’m embarrassed to tell you this, I just don’t like her, and I don’t want to get rid of her. The kids will be so upset.’” Burch asked if there was anyone else in the house who could take over the dog as “theirs.” Turns out, that person had a 14-year-old who was willing to put in the time and effort to be that dog’s person.

If no one else in the house can help, then humane rehoming might be the way to go. Burch knew an owner of four miniature pinschers who got along fine with three of them. The other dog just never seemed happy. But the owner found a new home for the dog with someone who did agility training. “I think [the owner] wasn’t providing enough activity for that one particular dog. In two weeks, it was a different dog,” she says.

25. Don’t be afraid you’ll ‘spoil’ a dog

It’s hard to really spoil a dog, says Schade. Dog on the couch? Dog sleeping on your bed? Dog getting an extra treat? “I think that’s just having a relationship with a being that you love and want close to you,” she says. “I guess spoiling would be ... like you ask your dog to perform a polite behavior, like sitting, before you put the food down, and the dog doesn’t do it, and you give them the food anyway. Maybe that would be spoiling, but not really. I think we’ve misunderstood love versus spoiling.” Don’t be stingy with praise and reassurance, she adds.

Schade’s own dog, Boris, fears garbage cans. So she talks him through it. “There will be treats involved, but I’ll say, ‘Oh my gosh, it’s no big deal. It’s just a garbage can. Oh, you’re so brave.’”  Does talking to her dog feel awkward? Not a bit. “I sound like the crazy lady, and I happily embrace that title.”